LUCKY ONCE

In the disparity between what is and what's real

Between what I admit and what I conceal

I catalogue fully my culpability

in every crime I committed or abetted

and how I petitioned tribunals

to triple my penance

So yes I did my time

though you weren't there to see it

and you think nothing's real unless

you're a witness

and yes I fucking love you

you oblivious genius

I love you so much right now

I just wanna smash things

because I've never kissed you

except those times I was sleeping

Odds are I won't get to

cos goners aren't lucky

but I testify true

I was lucky once

I was on the run with the lucky ones

Damn what the lucky won

and lost to loathesomeness

pre-goner era

It left me wondering if once was my quota

If I luck out again

the whole sky might fold inward

If the whole sky folded inward

then would you kiss me

If everything was ending

could we finally start something

I need to know now that I've seen your eyes

They bat clichés new again

They chamber cool fire

Do holes in your vision kiss my reflection

or is that really me there

in your eyes swimming

or behind your eyes drowning

no longer protesting

The fight going out of me

Help isn't coming