Warring Forces

I've never learned how to make a feeling go away 

Never 

Not a one 

I just collect them 

Marveling at how high they can stack 

How thinly be filed 

How tightly compressed 

How they become outmoded before I can even accept their presence 

I've never gotten over anything 

I've only gone without 

I've abstained and maintained a façade of root change 

and my reward is mostly Heavenly 

or there's mostly no reward 

I've never gotten over cynicism 

Never given up optimism 

Never equalized warring forces 

When I dream of peace now it is only acquiescence 

Submitting for bronzing 

A lament laminated 

It breaks me and it builds me 

It's enraging and enrapturing